I’m almost 100% sure that whenever someone meets me, they immediately want to know details into why I got married so young. I can say this with confidence because whenever I meet someone who is my age and married, I am DYING to find out the deets of their relationship. Do they have a kid? Are they a military couple? Are they very religious? Are they weird? These are the things that buzz through my head so I can only imagine they are going through the rest of the population. I have met quite a few people that seem to not really have a filter, and say things like “How old are you?” “Oh my gosh you’re just a baby!” “Why did you get married so young?” With questions like these you would think that I am a child bride instead of a college graduate living on her own, but none the less, I totally understand. I usually respond to these comments and questions with, “Yeah were just crazy,” or “Yeah were babies,” or “I don’t know, we just wanted to get married,” because I honestly don’t want to tell this stranger I just met, the long 7 year history of our relationship and all the details into why I got married at the unripe age of 20. Since my husband and I are celebrating our 2 year wedding anniversary at the moment, I decided this would be a perfect article to write. So here is my tell all, to all the strangers, acquaintances, family members, or friends, here’s why I did the “crazy” thing of getting married at 20 years old.
First of all, why do people get married anyway? You may say love, but if that was the case why don’t people just be in love and not take the risk of having to get divorced? Way back when, people got married to get out of their parents house, to start a family, and it was just the natural step for most people. In this day and age, marriage has become less of a must. It’s obvious to see why when the divorce rate is at 50% and climbing. So why are people still doing it? Is it to have a fairy tale wedding? Is it to have a stable family unit? Is it to fulfill a religious obligation? Or is it to finally settle down in life? These things may be the case for a lot of people, but I don’t believe these are the main reason, especially not for me.
Besides the customs of weddings, marriage is something that has transcended time and cultures. Although marriage may look different all across the world and throughout history, the principal remains the same: Committing to a person for the rest of your life. I believe this principal is what the human race is so infatuated with. We all know that things can happen and we can break that commitment, yet we choose to make it anyway without fear of the future. Why do we do this? Why are we so obsessed with this idea?
The world is a lonely and uncertain place, and I think that is something we can all agree on. But marriage gives the world a glimmer of hope that you will have someone forever. Of course you do not need to be legally bond to someone to have this type of commitment, but this is what the human race seems to be so attracted to. Marriage is the act of standing before everyone you know, standing before the whole world, and saying, “This person, right here, is the person that I CHOSE out of everyone else in the world, to spend me whole life with.” And that statement right there is it. This is why the human race has been and always will be obsessed with marriage. There is no greater desire than to be chosen forever and to be chosen in front of the whole world. The feeling can make a person feel immortal, transcendent of time, and is satisfied by no other relationship. You two decide to intertwine your whole lives and become one person and that is the most un-lonely feeling in the world.
So now that we have gone over why people get married in the first place, it might be a little easier to see why I got married so young. No we had not experienced a lot of life, no we did not have thriving stable careers to fall back on, and no we weren’t really sure on anything, except one thing. We knew that we wanted to publicly tell the world that this was our person. That we would be at home where ever the world might take us and whatever might happen. Even with all this, you still might not understand why we couldn’t wait, why we had to get married so young. But if you think about it, what would we be waiting for? To sleep with more people? To have a lot of money? To experience life on our own? From my observations, I don’t believe any of these things make marriage any easier.
So, I saw no reason to wait. Waiting to me, made marriage seem like some weird cultish act that must be performed at a certain age. We both loved each other and knew that we wanted to get married one day, so we just made that day come sooner than the socially acceptable norms. And you made say love is not enough, and that may be true, but then what is enough? There are 101 things that can make a marriage fail and no matter what age I get married all of those things are going to find us.
Now, here we are with 2 years of marriage down. People have always told me, “Marriage is hard,” but that is not the truth. Life is hard, marriage isn’t. I don’t want to pretend like we have a perfect relationship and that I know everything just because I have been married for two years, because two years is literally nothing. Who knows what the future will hold, or what will get thrown our way, but whatever happens is going to happen, and was always going to happen. So, the simple answer to why I got married so young is because well, I wanted to, and I do what I want.