This Valentine’s Day, my husband and I celebrate 7 years of being together. I know the title of this article is misleading because I am not in fact 7. However, I did start dating my husband when I was 15 years old, so for me, 7 years has basically been my whole life. Also, being married means that we’re not allowed to break up, so when we are 80 years old we will have been together for 65 years…. I mean that just seems unreal.
I know our relationship is extremely unconventional and I honestly couldn’t tell you how it’s managed to work out. Sometimes I just think about how different we both were when we were 15 years old. I mean I had braces, side bangs, and was still nervous about kissing boys, yet I was able to make a decision about who I would be with the rest of my life??? You would think that sometime during these 7 years, one of us would start to get sick of each other, but that never happened, we never broke up, not even for a second. I still don’t know how it turned out this way, but it did.
The thing is, sometimes I get embarrassed about our relationship. I meet people and when they hear that I am married to the only real boyfriend I’ve ever had, they think I’ve must have gotten pregnant, am part of some crazy cult, or just a plain idiot. The worst part is, I really can’t blame them, because I do the same thing. When I hear of couples that get married at my age or get married to the only person they’ve ever dated, I immediately start looking for what’s wrong with them. I have no idea why I do this, but because of it I am constantly struggling to show the world that I am a normal 22 year old person in a normal relationship. But it’s time to face the facts, I’m not a normal person and I’m not in a normal relationship.
Sometimes I watch TV shows and movies about these whirlwind romances and I think “wow that will never happen to me.” And that might sound sad but it’s really not. The first truth about being with the same person for your whole life, is the Hollywood romance, isn’t a thing. I’m not saying our relationship is totally loveless and depressing, but we’re not here to impress each other. When you are with someone for this much of your life, your significant other becomes an extension of you. Your goal isn’t to make each other get butterflies and feel all lovey-dovey, it’s to just live life with the person you love. I mean how exhausting would it be to constantly try to impress someone for your whole life? Sometimes when I watch movies or see these couples that just started dating, I get jealous and wish I met my husband when we were older. But then I remember all of the wonderful things that comes with being in a ripe old relationship.
One thing that most people don’t get to experience is being with someone who knows everything about them and has lived everything with them. There is no secrets in our relationship, there are no scars, there are no heartaches, there are no dirty pasts. My husband knows everything about my life because well, he was there for everything in my life. Yes, it isn’t as exciting and interesting as a lot of relationships, but there is no greater feeling than knowing someone who knows you so intimately and personally, and still chooses to be with you. My whole life I have been understood by someone on such a deep level. Even though sometimes we annoy the crap out of each other, we are each other’s person, and each other’s home.
Another truth about being with someone for your whole life is you don’t really fight. I am not saying we don’t argue, I am DEFINITELY not saying that. But our arguments usually consist of yelling about random things, storming off to the other room, and then 10 minutes later coming out to show the other person a funny video. We never make up, we just get over it or say sorry in the moment. Sometimes I wish we did fight, because gosh fights are so romantic! You have this big theatrical argument that turns into tears and separation, and then ends with some large gesture of love that brings you even closer together, how much more romantic can you get? But if I’m being honest with myself that just seems like way too much for me. I’m just not that much of a serious person. I’ll take my dumb 10 minute arguments about the dishes.
I think the biggest truth about being with the same person for your whole life is, you’re going to change, constantly. Not just the way you look, or your maturity level, but your passions, your beliefs, and your wants. I think this is the scariest thing about being with someone your whole life, because what if one of you just changes too much. Well, I haven’t lived that much life but from my experiences so far, changing only makes our relationship more interesting. In a lot of ways my husband and I have grown even more and more into the same person, but in a lot of ways we are totally opposite. We can spend hours debating about moral issues, religious issues, or what we want to do on a Friday night, but it doesn’t make us love each other any less. All that stuff is just surface. Who we are as a person will never change. I am the same person I was when I was 15 years old. We both have the same souls and the same basic characteristic, and sometimes this is easy to forget.
Being with the same person your whole life comes with it’s issues and shortcomings. You might not have as much excitement and new adventures as some people, but when it comes down to what matters, you have it all. You have a sense of security and love that is almost immortal. Sometimes it feels like my husband and I are from different planets, and then other times it feels like we are the same soul in two different bodies. My relationship and life may not be like everyone else’s, and sometimes I forget how special mine is, but it truly is the most exciting love story I’ve ever known.
Happy Valentine’s Day my love.